How to meet someone who would rather be outside

A couple walking a white dog across a hillside above a village in the valley

If your best day involves a map and a flask, most dating apps are quietly working against you.

The problem is not that outdoor people are rare. There are a lot of us. The problem is that the standard dating app sorts by distance and photographs. It has no idea whether the person it just showed you would enjoy eight miles in the rain, or would rather set fire to their boots.

You end up on a lot of first dates in a lot of bars, finding out on the third drink that "I love the outdoors" meant a beer garden.

Be specific about what outdoors means to you

"I love the outdoors" is the most common line in UK dating and it means nothing. Everyone thinks they mean it. Replace it with the actual thing.

"Two Wainwrights a month and I am building up to the rest." "Sea swimming all year, badly." "I have an allotment and it is out of control." "Three horses, so my Saturday is spoken for." Any of those tells a reader more in one line than a paragraph about loving nature.

Say what level you are at, honestly

Outdoor mismatches are usually about pace, not interest. Someone who walks eighteen miles with 1,200 metres of climb is an outdoor person. So is someone who does a nice four miles and a pub lunch. Put them together with nobody saying anything and they will both have a miserable Sunday.

Write the distance you actually do. It is not a boast either way, and it saves both of you a wasted Sunday.

Use photos that show weather

Anyone can look happy on a summit in June. A photo in poor weather, still smiling, tells a reader you do this when it is not fun, which is the only real test of whether someone likes being outside.

Keep at least one photo where your face is clearly visible with no sunglasses, hood or helmet. Sounds obvious. Half of outdoor profiles have no usable photo of the person at all.

Open with the place, not the compliment

"You look great" gets nothing. "Is that Cadair Idris behind you? I did it in the fog in April and saw a wall" gets a reply, because it hands the other person something easy to answer.

People who spend time outside like talking about where they have been. Ask about the place and you are already having a conversation instead of an exchange.

Make the first meeting a short walk

A first date outdoors solves most of what makes first dates awkward. You are side by side rather than across a table, you have something to look at, and it ends naturally when the loop does.

Keep it to an hour or so, somewhere popular with other people about, and tell a friend where you are going. Full detail in our guide to planning a first date outdoors.

Two walkers stopped at a stile on a hill path, looking out across a wide valley

Match on the thing you actually do

Grounded lets you set walking, hiking, riding, cycling, wild swimming, fishing, gardening, growing, dogs and shooting as interests, and then find people on the same ones.

It sounds small. It is the difference between "loves the outdoors" and someone who has a route in mind for Sunday.

Five lines that work better than "I love the outdoors"

  • Name the last three places you walked, rode or swam.
  • Give the distance you do comfortably, not the one you did once.
  • Say what you are working towards, even if it is small.
  • Say what you will not do. Not liking camping is useful information.
  • Say whether the dog comes. It usually decides the whole date anyway.
outdoor dating dating tips walking
Common questions

Things people ask about this

Do I need to be fit to join an outdoor dating site?

No. Members range from people doing four miles and a pub lunch to people out on the hill every weekend. Writing down what you actually do is far more useful than being fast.

What outdoor interests can I search on?

Walking, hiking, riding, cycling, wild swimming, fishing, gardening and growing, dogs and shooting are all on Grounded, and you can match with people who share them.

Is a walk a good first date?

It is one of the better ones. You are side by side rather than facing each other, there is something to talk about the whole time, and it has a natural end. Pick a popular route and keep the first one short.

What if we walk at different speeds?

Say your usual distance in your profile before you meet. Most mismatches outdoors are about pace rather than interest, and one honest line prevents nearly all of them.

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A couple walking a beagle along a grassy coastal path in bright weather

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